Moving Insanity

With two weeks to go, a combination of procrastination, inertia and packing phobia is now producing temporary(we hope!) insanity! Urgent novenas, penance, pilgrimages, Midnight Office please!

Leading by Example

From the Papal Mass this morning - very interesting - Communion, kneeling and on the tongue - no legislation yet - but the direction is clear.

Major USCCB Decision

In a stunning move, to help Bishop Donald Trautman's favourite mythical Catholic couple, "John and Mary Catholic," the USCCB Liturgy Committee has decided that, from now on, Bishop Trautman will be known as Bishop Donald Fishperson - in the interest of species/gender equality. Bishop Trautman felt that "John and Mary Catholic" would have difficulty with the archaic concept of a Trautman - a fishperson is much more user-friendly........and they think the age of clericalism is in the traditionalist world?!

"Hello"

Only lovers of a certain genre of film will enjoy this one - there are some of you out there - "rath -er," as Terry Thomas would say.

Crossing the Tiber?

Speculation is mounting that President George W. Bush will follow his brother Jeb, the former Governor of Florida, into the Catholic Church. Unlike another recent world leader who famously 'Poped,' he will not have to renounce constant public (being the operative word) support for abortion, stem-cell research, "gay" marriage and anti-Catholic legislation..........oh, I forgot..... the other world leader didn't renounce any of those things. Yes - before any pinkos become any more pink of face or politics, or pompously pontificate in the comment section, or endlessly alliterate (that's my job!) he may, indeed, in humility, acknowledge the constant opposition of both Pope John Paul and Pope Benedict to the war in Iraq - we shall see!

Crooner releases new 'Greatest Hits' Album

Archbishop Marini




Classic '70's Soft-Rock crooner Archbishop Piero 'Kenny G' Marini has just announced a sweet deal with Time-Life records:You may have seen their late-night commercials for the Soft-Rock hits of the '70's - Kenny Marini will be releasing a compilation disc of his greatest hits from his time as Papal MC. Included in the album will be timeless classics like: 'Papal Audience Shuffle,' the cover version of the Pointer Sisters number (includes a rare backing track from the Singing Nun), 'Hey, Forget the Rubrics,' the Doobie Brother's classic, and the all-time favourite on the dance floor, 'Fiddleback Showdown' (with guest vocals by the surviving members of the St. Louis Jesuits). As followers of Kenny's recent career may recall, he recently completed a period in Summorum Pontificium rehab after his demotion as Papal MC. Sadly, it has been reported in the 'National Enquirer' that he fell off the wagon, when he was seen celebrating the liturgy in clown attire at a gathering of 'Voice of the Faithful;' the other elderly attendees helped a tired and emotional Kenny Marini into a waiting taxi and told the driver "take him to Los Angeles - the address is the Taj Mahoney."

"Peace in our time"

President Obama returns from his successful visit with the Iranian President.