Monday, January 7, 2008
Run, Owl, Run!
Sometimes the spotlight of history catches you in its beam and you have two options; to retreat and spend time with your family, or to accept that fate is demanding a response and to run with it. After announcing that I would endorse two outstanding candidates for President and Vice-President of the United States, I was overwhelmed by the popular demand that I accept the will of the people, and offer my services as the next President of the United States of America. I am, of course, uniquely qualified for the position. I think it is important, at this stage in the race, to not expect a detailed description of all my qualities, suffice it to say, they are legion. I will run on a platform of change: change of underwear, change of toothbrushes, change of hairstyles. I believe the use of the word "change" should be enough, in itself, to get me elected by a handsome majority. Some may say there are serious obstacles to my candidacy: I am not a citizen, I am a Catholic priest, I believe in eternal truth, that some things are always right, and some things are always wrong - I would say that I still believe in a place called hope. My friends, what we are seeing here is a popular revolution, where a candidate is called forth by popular acclaim to serve, and not to be served. My Vice-Presidential running mate, Senator Robot Lobotoma joins me in asking for your support and your money. Our slogan will be: Senator McCain may have the straight talk express - what we are offering is the slick talk express.
I am the Owl of the Remove and I approve this message.