Monday, January 7, 2008

Run, Owl, Run!

Sometimes the spotlight of history catches you in its beam and you have two options; to retreat and spend time with your family, or to accept that fate is demanding a response and to run with it. After announcing that I would endorse two outstanding candidates for President and Vice-President of the United States, I was overwhelmed by the popular demand that I accept the will of the people, and offer my services as the next President of the United States of America. I am, of course, uniquely qualified for the position. I think it is important, at this stage in the race, to not expect a detailed description of all my qualities, suffice it to say, they are legion. I will run on a platform of change: change of underwear, change of toothbrushes, change of hairstyles. I believe the use of the word "change" should be enough, in itself, to get me elected by a handsome majority. Some may say there are serious obstacles to my candidacy: I am not a citizen, I am a Catholic priest, I believe in eternal truth, that some things are always right, and some things are always wrong - I would say that I still believe in a place called hope. My friends, what we are seeing here is a popular revolution, where a candidate is called forth by popular acclaim to serve, and not to be served. My Vice-Presidential running mate, Senator Robot Lobotoma joins me in asking for your support and your money. Our slogan will be: Senator McCain may have the straight talk express - what we are offering is the slick talk express.

I am the Owl of the Remove and I approve this message.


Liz said...

I'd vote for you, Owl. Consider yourself fortunate that as a non-citizen you don't have to vote in this thing. I'm presently supporting Ron Paul, even though that's probably as much of an exercise in futility as supporting Alan Keyes was last time. Why is it that the people who make the most sense get the fewest votes?

GKC for president, Hillaire Belloc for VP forget citizenship and vote for the democracy of the dead.

Ttony said...

Don't you have to be native born?

Shame on you for even thinking of joining that mass of people who have renounced their true allegiance to their various monarchs!

MomWithManyJobs said...

The most amusing thing, with a mix of truth in it that I've read in quite some time :)