Sunday, February 10, 2008
News from the Campaign
I have been inundated with requests to know how the Presidential campaign of the Owl is progressing. The Owl is known as the stealth candidate, also known as the Third Party choice. When the country is exhausted with the poor choice on the Democratic and Republican tickets, the Owl will emerge, to a grateful nation, as the only obvious candidate. Part of the Owl's new strategy is to have crowds chant "yes, we can" until they go into a Sufi trance. (Whirling Dervishes will be provided) What "we can" do doesn't really matter, it is enough to chant it. The Owl's political team believes policies should be revealed on a "need to know" basis - and the people really don't need to know. I can reveal that the Owl believes in Global Warming: that it's a good thing, because anything that warms Vermont up can't be bad. He encourages the use of gas-guzzling SUV's, and wants to be known for his big, fat, carbon footprint. Among other policies he is prepared to reveal: 1) Life in prison, without parole, for the use of cell-phones in Church. 2) The introduction of the stocks on village greens, and free rotten vegetables to throw at the people in the stocks. 3) Punishment of a day in the stocks for anyone who uses the word "like" as punctuation. 4) A humble apology to be offered to Her Majesty the Queen for the act of treason in 1776, and a petition to be allowed to enter the Commonwealth.
On a serious note - as an ignorant resident alien - can anyone explain to me how political candidates are allowed to make speeches in churches? Do these bodies not have tax -exempt status? If they do, why is that status not removed when the Sunday service is turned into a political rally?