Friday, June 6, 2008

Crooner releases new 'Greatest Hits' Album

Archbishop Marini

Classic '70's Soft-Rock crooner Archbishop Piero 'Kenny G' Marini has just announced a sweet deal with Time-Life records:You may have seen their late-night commercials for the Soft-Rock hits of the '70's - Kenny Marini will be releasing a compilation disc of his greatest hits from his time as Papal MC. Included in the album will be timeless classics like: 'Papal Audience Shuffle,' the cover version of the Pointer Sisters number (includes a rare backing track from the Singing Nun), 'Hey, Forget the Rubrics,' the Doobie Brother's classic, and the all-time favourite on the dance floor, 'Fiddleback Showdown' (with guest vocals by the surviving members of the St. Louis Jesuits). As followers of Kenny's recent career may recall, he recently completed a period in Summorum Pontificium rehab after his demotion as Papal MC. Sadly, it has been reported in the 'National Enquirer' that he fell off the wagon, when he was seen celebrating the liturgy in clown attire at a gathering of 'Voice of the Faithful;' the other elderly attendees helped a tired and emotional Kenny Marini into a waiting taxi and told the driver "take him to Los Angeles - the address is the Taj Mahoney."


Liz said...

I'll desist from identifying the aging hippies and their gear that could be encouraged to hitchhike to Taj Mahoney to join crooner Kenny.

However, it could be worse. I went to a funeral in a mainline Protestant church yesterday. Their hymnal has had all the old classic hymns "inclusive languagified." So in Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence they are now fed with heavenly bread instead of with his own self (of course that's probably better Protestant theology, now that I think of it). The use of the word Lord is eliminated, as is the word son. Even the Nicene creed has Father Mother God and Child of Father mMther God. What appalls me about those hymns is that they didn't just change language, they changed basic concepts and then tried to pass the songs off as the traditional hymns. Seems to me that if they were so all fired determined to have inclusive language hymns they should at the very least write their own. So things could be worse than even the Saint Louis Jesuits and the monks from Weston Priory. At least they didn't rewrite Adore Te Devote and try to pass it off as the original.
The hymns they wrote may be sappy, musically poor, and theologically deficient, but at least they are their own work.

gemoftheocean said...

"the address is the Taj Mahoney.""

you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave....

GOR said...

What is sad about the whole Marini ‘sour grapes’ saga is his confidence in his views having wide support that he embarked on a book-signing tour (mercifully cancelled here in the US…). It was like thumbing his nose at the Holy Father (“You can have your Summorum Pontificum, but I have ‘the people’ behind me…”).

Even sadder to see that Cdl. Cormac fell into the trap - hosting the event at Westminster. That would never have happened in places like St. Louis, Kansas City or Lincoln, Nebraska…!

Pastor in Valle said...

Good luck with the Remove, Owl! In two weeks' time, I'll be going to the States and Canada. Looks like we'll pass one another in mid-air!